Tag: College Decision

It Works Out

Listen to “It Works Out: Episode 4- Andrew Cohen, Becky Tankersley, Chaffee Viets, Kathleen Voss, Evan Simmons, Sammy Rose-Sinclair” on Spreaker.

Each year, right before we release admission decisions, I speak with our tour guides. I love talking to this group because they are smart, excited, and always have really good snacks (shout out to Auntie Anne’s Pretzels). They amaze me because they voluntarily give up valuable hours each week to walk families across campus (often in the blazing sun or pouring rain or right after two exams and a bad break-up) and share all of the incredible opportunities available both inside and outside the classroom.

They love Tech. They believe in this place. They have drunk the proverbial Kool-Aid.  At their Monday night meeting I asked them a few questions:

Q: Was Tech your first choice when you applied to colleges?

A: 62% responded NO.

Q: How many of you are happy here now and are thankful for the way it has worked out?

A: All but two responded YES, which I thought was pretty good. (Plus “here” and “it” were vague… they may have been thinking about that particular meeting and whether or not they got the right ratio of pretzel dogs: pretzel nuggets).

Q: How many of you think if you were at another college you would have no chance for success or happiness in the short or long-term?

A: Only one of the 71 said they would have no chance of happiness or success elsewhere. Now you could call this contrarian, but I call it “ALL IN!” Give that kid the TGOTY (Tour Guide of Year) Award.

If you are a senior…

Whether you are waiting on an admission decision or trying to choose from your college options in the weeks ahead, I hope you will find comfort and confidence in these responses. The take home message is #ItWorksOut. Since lot of selective colleges will put decisions out in the weeks ahead, I don’t want you to lose sight of this fact.

Over the years I’ve written extensively about my own personal “re-routes,” as well as the experiences of students, family, and friends in hopes of providing solace when something you hope for doesn’t go as planned. Some of these include:

Again, the resounding commonality in all of these stories: #ItWorksOut.

Further Evidence 

Tweet describing college rejection and decision making
Good Day Philly co-host, Alex Holley.

While perspective always comes with time, it is accelerated by hearing the stories of others. I recently started reading Paul Tough’s book, The Years That Matter Most. I highly recommend it (it’s unquestionably the second best book about college admission to come out within the past year).  In chapter one he tells the story of Shannen, a senior from New York City, who is denied admission to her top choice. She’s crushed. She’s inconsolable. A few days later she receives admission to two other great schools (with better climates) who both offer excellent financial packages. Ultimately, she has achieved the real goal of the college admission experience: not just a single offer from a particular college, but multiple offers from different schools. She has options.

These stories are all around you, but you have to be intentional about being still and quiet and really listening. When you do, you’ll hear about the job someone did not get, the house purchase that fell through, the relationship that did not work out, or the deal that didn’t happen.

A Few Noteworthy Examples

Beyonce. Before she figured out that one name/one person was adequate, she was in a group called Girl’s Tyme (there’s a reason you’ve never heard of it).

Harrison Ford, and Henry Ford (only related by their similarly circuitous paths to fame and success).

Stephon Curry. From not being recruited by major college basketball programs to becoming, well… Steph Curry.

Albert Einstein. Failed his Swiss entrance exam, barely graduated from college, sold insurance door to door. So many great Einstein quotes to choose from. Perhaps the most apropos in this situation is, “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.”

When things don’t go the way we hope, our tendency is to withdraw from others or go into our shell or gravitate toward people who are equally upset and in the exact same situation (see ad nauseam Reddit threads). Ironically, it’s in these precise moments we need to do the opposite—open up, listen to really hear, and seek perspective from people two, five, or 25 years older.

Common Threads

  • You are not alone. EVERYONE. EVERY. ONE. has stories of re-routes and disappointments. If someone cannot share at least one anecdote like this, do not trust them because THEY. ARE. LYING. Need more evidence? Go look at the admit rate of some of the schools you’ve applied to. Now flip that percentage (deny rate) and multiply it with the total number of applications received. That is a big number. That number is a lot higher than one, right? I know, I know. You come here for the math.
  • Re-routes and the things we do not get teach valuable lessons. Whether you are denied admission or you get in but ultimately don’t receive the financial aid package necessary for you to attend your top choice college, you will grow. My hope is you’ll be able to see these situations as opportunities rather than as disappointments. Use them as motivation. Anyone who is truly content, successful, and happy will not describe their life and journey as a predictable point-to-point path. Instead they’ll discuss bumps, turns, and moments of uncertainty along the way.
  • The real decision belongs to you. The common thread between the answers of our tour guides and the famous people listed above is that ultimately, we all need to choose how we handle re-directions, decide where our identity comes from, and determine how we are going to move forward.

To Parents, Counselors, and Teachers

March and April are critical times to give examples of how people students know, respect, and trust have weathered disappointments and emerged thankful on the other side.

Tweet explaining that college decisions work out
No. I don’t know Mark personally. I just ran across this when making sure #itworksout was populated with relatively clean, relevant and appropriate content.

So I have three favors to ask:

  1. Make a concerted effort in the weeks ahead to share your personal stories with the students around you. Extra Credit: join the movement by sharing your experience on social media (Instagram, Twitter, Facebook)  Need some guidelines? Tell us:
  • What happened and when?
  • How did things ultimately work out?
  • Link to the blog, @gtadmission and #ItWorksOut.
  1. Talk to the parents of college students or recent college graduates about how things worked out for their kids. You’ll hear them tell encouraging stories of how #ItWorksOut. Maybe not the way they thought or scripted, but inevitably their anecdotes will be filled with examples of what we all hope for our kids: friends, happiness, and opportunities.
  2. Keep lifting up the students around you. They will need an appropriate amount of time and space to express their frustration or sit in the disappointment. Totally natural, normal, and necessary. But if you sense they are bumping up against the “wallow” line, use it as an opportunity to help them hone and develop a critical life skill– the ability to look down on a situation from 30,000 feet. It’s only from that vantage point we are able to absorb and handle disappointment, but also make big life decisions.

I’m not saying any of this is easy. But I am saying with absolute confidence #ItWorksOut. I’m excited to hear the stories of how it has (and will) in your life!

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Say Yes to the (School)

This week we welcome Senior Admission Counselor Samantha Rose-Sinclair to the blog. Welcome, Sammy!

“I like it a lot.”

A nice enough stamp of approval, but not the reaction to a wedding gown that Say Yes to the Dress conditioned me to expect. “The dress” is a big investment and a landmark decision that can drum up emotions of the future ahead. “Like” is good, but shouldn’t my sister be gushing about her love of the dress? Should she be crying? Should I be crying? Maybe I should cry.

My sister and her entourage.
My sister and her entourage.

My sister, mom, grandma and I sat in a lovely dress shop in Savannah awaiting Alex’s next thought. She twisted while carefully observing herself in the mirror and smoothing the lace. “Yeah, I really like it,” she said with a smile. She turned to us expectantly and asked, “But what do you guys think?”

For those of you who have never joined in on a dress boutique shopping adventure, here’s the play-by-play of what you can expect: the bride usually brings suggestions of styles she likes. With the help of a consultant, she picks out styles in their shop that match as closely as possible, with the occasional curveball pick or two. They retreat to a dressing room to shimmy on the dresses, and the bride then comes out in the ones she deems “entourage worthy.” We assess while the bride shares her first thoughts, then the group offers feedback and praise (or not) while she stands atop a pedestal.

Now from here, everything I knew about wedding dress shopping (which came exclusively from TLC shows) told me I should be watching for “that moment.” You know, the moment someone tries on their dress and “they just know,” or when there is an obvious blubbering mess of emotions spilling out into the room. Yet here we were, and Alex was very measured and surprisingly calm. Well, not too surprising… she’s a Pediatric ED nurse, so I probably should have expected the calm.

All those magical things, including the notion that you’ll “just know,” are also constantly repeated about the college search process. Even I, as an admission counselor, am guilty of throwing those ideas around. But the concept of a dream college and the idea of one true fit that “clicks” as soon as you step on campus… that may or may not be your experience, and that’s okay.  Colleges are real places (flaws and all), and a “dream school” sets an unrealistic expectation.

“I like it a lot” 

Just because you don’t feel that magical “click” doesn’t mean anything is wrong with the school, or more importantly, with you. If you’re more analytical, consider asking yourself questions that evaluate what you’re experiencing a little more tangibly.

When you’re researching colleges, ask yourself:

  • Do I want to learn more about this school?
  • Where could I fit into the big picture of the things I’m reading about?
  • Does the mission statement of this college resonate with me?
  • Could this school help me fulfill the goals of not only what I want to do in college (and beyond), but why I want to go to college? (this one requires a bit of self-reflection.)

When you’re visiting colleges, ask:

  • Am I counting down the minutes until I leave, or am I excited to explore more? (Note: as tough as it may be, try to separate out temporary things like weather patterns from your long term judgments. A gross rainy day can make you eager to leave, but that’s not what we’re going for here.)
  • Am I looking forward to the possibility of coming back?
  • Did I hear about any unique opportunities today that piqued my interest?
  • Can I see myself engaging in this community?

And for each of the above answers, ask yourself “Why?”

“But what do you guys think?”

Sometimes a trusted confidant can help reshape things or put the process into perspective. The floor sample of the dress Alex was wearing came in an off-white that looked greyish purple. It was hard for her to get past that in order to make a decision, even though the consultant patiently reassured her the dress she’d order could come in ivory. After noticing the hesitation, I asked the consultant to grab a fabric sample of the ivory and we pinned it to the skirt of the dress. Now she could envision it.

Your support system can look at things in a way you may not have considered. You might be looking for a major in Game Design and overlook a program called “Computational Media.” A different term, but a perfect match. It can be helpful to have a second set of eyes to assist in navigating the roadblocks to a connection.

Alex also hedged her emotions a bit out of trepidation for the entourage in the room—mom and grandma’s opinions matter a lot. Sure, she liked the dress, but what if we didn’t like it, and we didn’t approve? Parents, guardians, and supporters: sometimes a little encouragement and praise can help! In the foreign environment of a college search, be reassuring. Your student may be cautiously expressive because they’re holding their breath for what you think, or they may doubt belonging there because impostor syndrome on college campuses is very real.

 ”I really like it”

I said yes
Photo used with permission from Ivory & Beau (Savannah, GA)

The dress matched everything my sister’s Pinterest board showed she was looking for, and she looked beautiful. But ultimately, Alex isn’t the “magical-fairytale-moment-crying-in-a-dress” type (Trademark, Sammy Rose-Sinclair). Remember, that’s okay. She still said yes! So with her family around her, we celebrated her decision with ”she/I said yes” tambourines (yes, I too just learned that’s a real thing, and now need one for all my decisions) and Alex bought the dress she’ll wear down the aisle next year.

She really likes the dress. She’s even thrown the word “love” around a few times since. Crazy, right? What’s most important, though, is how much Alex really loves her husband-to-be, Dave. They’re patient with each other, they’re thoughtful, silly, and kind. They’re incredibly excited about their wedding, but even more excited about the future that comes with it.

And that’s the real takeaway here: your college will be a wonderful place. I hope you really, truly, like it a lot. But it’s the things you’ll do, the people you’ll meet, the opportunities you’ll have, that will make it special.

Sammy Rose-Sinclair has worked in college admission for four years. A newly-minted southerner, she moved to Atlanta and joined Georgia Tech two years ago as a senior admission counselor on the first-year admission team. She now uses her millennial-ness and love of working with students, families, and counselors to interact with the GT Admission community through our social media channels. If you’ve gotten this far, send her questions about admission or Netflix recommendations on twitter or Instagram- @gtadmission.

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Strange(r) Things About College Admission

This week we welcome Communications Manager of Strategy and Enrollment Planning (and former Assistant Director of Admission) Becky Tankersley back to the blog. Welcome, Becky!

I am not a scary movie person. I like happy endings and clean resolutions. When it comes to entertainment, I mainly stick to light-hearted comedies, a few documentaries, and any and all movies in the Marvel Universe.

stranger things poster
Photo Credit: Netflix

That being said, I, along with millions of other viewers in the world, have been sucked into season three of Netflix’s Stranger Things (don’t worry—no spoilers lie ahead!). For those unfamiliar, the series focuses on a group of kids who experience…. unusual… events in their small town in the 1980s. As a Gen X-er, it’s fun to see that era, along with the products and fads that were prevalent in my childhood, come back to life. (Bonus: much of the show was filmed in and around Atlanta.)

While I enjoy the element of nostalgia, there’s also some pretty dark things that happen in the show. When a particularly intense scene comes up (as you can always tell from the ominous lighting and music), I cover my ears, close my eyes, and ask my husband to tell me 1) when it’s over, and 2) what happened.

Yep—I’m in my late 30s and acknowledge that I have the same reaction to scary things as my 8-year-old daughter.

If you’re a rising high school senior, you should be aware that when it comes to the college admission process, there are some strange(r ) things ahead of you. Don’t worry, there are no evil monsters or government conspiracies lurking around the corner! But there are a few things to consider as you start your journey.

The Upside Down

Okay, maybe one sneak peek (but it’s not a spoiler!). In the first season a character is pulled into the “upside down,” an alternate dimension that looks like the one we’re in but is very different. I won’t go into details on what happens down there, but just know that things in the upside down are nothing like they are here.

Things will happen on your college admission journey that will seem upside down. You may visit your number one college choice and, after taking a closer look, decide it’s not a great fit after all. Then again, a college you had little to no interest in (and to be honest, may be visiting only to pacify your parents) may be far more incredible than you thought, and it’s now in the top spot. Your list has essentially turned upside down.

When it comes to decision release day, things can turn upside down again. You may not get into a school you thought was a sure bet. You may hear of someone else who got in that you believe was a lesser candidate than you. It seems upside down, and it won’t make any sense. When you find yourself in that spot (and I say “when,” not “if,” because it has happened to most everyone I know, including me), remember there are things going on behind the scenes that you cannot control. College acceptances are often based around strategic priorities—it’s not a value judgement of you or your character. Colleges are working to find the right mix of students when making the soup each year… and sometimes it will seem upside down.

Be Open to All Possibilities

In season three, a character notices the magnets fell off her refrigerator, and she puts them back up… or at least she tries to. The magnets keep falling and refuse to stick. She talks to a scientist to learn how this is possible. After he runs through all the likely, and most logical, scenarios, she asks “yes, but what else? Is there anything else it could be?” He then shares a very remote, and what most would call illogical, possibility. She looks beyond the obvious answers and digs deeper for an answer that makes sense to her.

As you go through the college visit and application process, dig deep for what you’re seeking. While advice is always well-intended, there are times you should ask yourself a few questions first. Who is recommending this information? Do they have your best interests at heart, or are they advising through their own limited experiences?

When you’re on a campus tour, don’t just listen to the questions asked by those around you. Ask good questions (then ask them again).  Be willing to step outside your comfort zone and consider new possibilities.

Last but not least, when reading through publications and emails, remember that colleges are also marketers—we will always show you the our very best side. Grab a student newspaper or alumni magazine to learn more about what’s happening on campus now, and what graduates are doing with their degrees down the road.

Don’t let yourself be spoon-fed information. Investigate on your own and be open to the possibilities that may lead you to reset the destination on your “college GPS.”

It’s About the People

As previously mentioned, I’m not into scary things. So why do I spend valuable time watching something that, in truth, sometimes stresses me out? It’s not the plot that keeps me coming back, but the people in it. I’m invested in the characters and the relationships in the show. The kids at the center of all three seasons have an unshakable bond, despite the turmoil surrounding them. They don’t always agree and get along, but in the end, they have each other’s back.

As you go through your college search, don’t forget: it’s the people around you that matter. You’re surrounded by people who love and care about you: parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, teachers, counselors, coaches… the list goes on.

It's not what we have in life, but who we have in our life that matters.You will forge new relationships as you go through this process, and the ones you already have will shift in certain ways. It’s easy to get pulled into the plot of college admission—the essays, the activities, the grades, the applications, the deadlines. Yes, the plot certainly matters. But if, in the process of resolving the plot, you lose sight of the people within it, you’ve missed the point.

Schedule regular timeouts to simply enjoy being with your family (no college talk allowed)! Take a moment to thank a teacher for the impact they’ve had in your life. Treat your little brother or sister to a movie. Hang out with your friends and just have fun.

The plot of your life will continually shift, complete with twists and turns and unexpected story lines. But at the end of the day, the plot is situational—and means nothing without the connections between the characters within it.

Becky Tankersley has worked in higher education for more than 10 years. She joined Georgia Tech in 2012 after working at a small, private college in the mountains of Northeast Tennessee. Prior to working in higher education, she worked as a television news producer. Her current role blends her skills in college recruitment and communication. Becky is the editor of  the GT Admission Blog, and also serves as a Content Coordinator for the American Association of Collegiate Registrar and Admission Officers.

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Best Part, Worst Part, Opportunity. Admission Advice for Parents

In Georgia, our local schools finish in May. Because of all the end of year plays, celebrations, ceremonies and tournaments, parents (not-so-affectionately) call it “MAYhem” or “MAYcember” (all the busyness but no gifts).

During the frenzy of this time, it’s tough to sit down for family dinners, so we have not had many (ok…zero) nights spent casually sitting around the dining room table conversing wistfully about the year. Nope. We have disproportionately used the word “microwave” and “take-out” in recent weeks. The dining room (not just the table) is a chaotic assortment of school projects, credit card and lawn care solicitations, random food wrappers, and a few slowly deflating helium balloons from our son’s birthday party three weeks ago. Needless to say, most meals have been consumed far too quickly while hovering around the kitchen bar.

However, in hopes of generating some semblance of conversation and even temporarily calming the noise of these days, we have made it a point to each share: the best part of our day, the worst part of our day, and “an opportunity” (a moment when we were able to encourage, celebrate, forgive without being prompted, or really listen to a friend, neighbor, co-worker, classmate, etc.).

There have been a couple absolutely hilarious impersonations (one of my wife’s hidden talents), real revelations, some completely disingenuous and perfunctory answers (not going to pretend every night is magical here- we’re dealing with a 2nd and 4th grader), but also a few acts of kindness and moments of true empathy and generosity that have been incredibly heart-warming and inspiring.

So in the spirit of best part/worst part/opportunity, the wisdom in crowd-sourcing insight, and immediately following another year of reading files, hosting students on campus, and traveling extensively around the state and nation, I asked our team to contribute the one thing they would want parents to consider and embrace in the year ahead.

Best Thing/Worst Thing

Kathleen Voss

Alma Mater:  Salve Regina University

Important fact: Father was a long-time dean of admission in New England.

“Sometimes what a student considers to be a ‘good fit’ is not always what the parent considers a ‘good fit.’ It is important for the student to be confident in their choice.  As parents we are looking at the college through a different lens.  Also, if you have not had a conversation about cost with your child, now is the time to do that…not after your student falls in love with a school that is not affordable.”

Alex Thackstonthe best, the worst

Alma Mater: Florida State University

Important Fact: Huge Atlanta United fan. Oh… and father is the president of college in Florida.

“Be supportive, but also be real about your situation. Let your student lead the process. You should be involved in a secondary manner. Students should contact schools, admission counselors, and their school counselors. You are there as a support system. Unfortunately, you will not be able to follow them to college, so this is one of your first chances to help them become independent!”

Katie Mattli, aka K. Mat, aka Matie Kattli

Alma Mater: Auburn University

Important Fact: Most dogs don’t live as long as she’s been in college admission. Also, cannot be held responsible for comments made when “hangry.”

“When a parent calls or emails me because their student does not have time, I immediately question if the student is truly interested in our institution or just the parent.  Students make time for their priorities and it is telling that we are not one of them. I welcome questions from parents, but a student should be able to communicate and advocate effectively on their own.”

Becky Tankersley

Alma Mater: UNC-Asheville

Important fact: Spent five years working as a television news producer. First generation college student, joy/ infectious laugh undiminished by length of commute.

“Listen to your school counselor! They have a wealth of knowledge to guide your family through the process. Listen to them and consider the schools they recommend. Lean on their experience–they do this every year! Also, be transparent about money with your student. If there is no limit to what you will pay, let them know that. If there is a limit, talk about it now, rather than waiting until the first offer of admission comes in.”

Laura Simmons

Alma Mater: Furman University

Important fact (s): Parent of two current college students and married to a AP History teacher.

“Let your student drive this process.  Like driving a car, they cannot do it with you behind the wheel.”

Sara Straughn

Alma Mater: Wofford College

Important Fact: Met husband through college admission (to clarify- they were both working professionals at the time).

“Don’t try to bribe anyone.  It is not that serious.  And you’ll probably end up in jail which is totally not worth it.  Where your student goes to school matters much less than what they do with their college experience.”

Mary Tipton Woolley 

Alma Mater: Mississippi State University

Important fact: Hails from Union City, TN, which boasts the amazing Discovery Park of America museum.

“Remember what it was like to help your child explore the world – your backyard, the park, etc. – when they were a child. Then and today, there’s a good chance your child is nervous (even if he/she won’t admit it!). They still need your support and encouragement but also the freedom to explore, make choices within bounds and make their own mistakes (picking up a piece of dog poo anyone!).”

Opportunity

Ashley Brookshire

Alma Mater: Georgia Tech

Important fact- inexplicable fear of mascots (yet is regularly around the Chick-fil-A cow)

“In a year’s time, your student will be immersed in a new college environment. Use their senior year as an opportunity to build the soft-skill set required to become the adult that they’re expected to be in college. Once they’re a college student, they will need to register for classes without your direct intervention, approach faculty with questions on their own, and overall act as a self-advocate. The college search process can serve as an intentional time to allow your student to take ownership, while still having the luxury of your close proximity as a sounding board.”

Rick Clark

Alma Mater: UNC- Chapel Hill

Important fact: Greatly enjoys the random solicitations (particularly the odd combinations) on the Marta train. A few recent gems include- three cigarettes for $1 (literally had people grabbing cigs from the box and paying with change), Mini Snickers bars and incense, ear buds and socks, and a personal fave, glow sticks and chewing gum.

“Talk to parents who have kids in college. Ask them to reflect on their experience. Inevitably, you will hear them say they wish they had not stressed as much. They will tell you about their daughter who was not admitted to her first choice school, ended up elsewhere, and is thriving now. They will go into great detail about how their son did not receive the merit scholarship he had been hoping for, selected another option from his choices, and now has an incredible internship and a girlfriend (who they actually like) that he never would have met otherwise.”

Opportunity

If you are not intentional, the college admission process can feel like the frenzy and stress of May. As a result, too many families miss the opportunity that the college admission experience presents. If you will really listen to your student’s hopes and dreams; if you will be willing to trust that this will all work out; if you will focus more on staying together than simply “getting in” to a particular school; if you will check your ego and be more concerned with your child’s goals than the name of a college on a list or its order in a ranking, the college admission experience can be a unique time to explore, learn, discover, and grow closer.

You can find my extended thoughts in Hope For The New Year, so I’ll simply close with this– My biggest hope is that no matter where the college admission journey leads your family, you’ll keep telling your kids three things: I love you. I trust you. I am proud of you.

 

 

 

Burn The Ships!

Listen to the audio version here.

Last week I drove my family back from Florida after spring break. On the way, they watched the movie Hitch. Yes, you heard that correctly. I was driving and my two kids (ages 8 and 10) were watching a movie about a date doctor in New York. Yes, my wife was in the back with them eating chips and Capri Suns and laughing hysterically, having made an exception to her very stringent no PG-13 movie rule. Yes, I understand this is only because she has a huge crush on Will Smith. Yes, it’s a mini-van. Yes, I know I was the sucker on basically every level in this scenario. Can we please move on?!

Fast forward to yesterday when I picked my son up from soccer practice. “How’d it go?”

Hitched“I yelled at her. I screamed at my boss! I quit my job!” I literally spit my drink out. The kid’s recall on movie quotes is hysterical.  It’s particularly funny when he busts out quotes first thing in the morning or when I’m talking to him through the bathroom door. Yes, I realize our relationship is… interesting.

This started a back and forth pseudo quote war. While I usually get the gist, it’s amazing how he can recall quotes verbatim in both words and inflection.

Me: “You don’t need no pizza, they got food there.”

Him: “I had a… great time, too, Allegra… with a beard.”

Me: “I’m a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time?”

But I conceded defeat (plus I was basically out of lines) when he nailed an Albert Brennaman classic from the movie: “I’ve waited my whole life to feel miserable.”

Decision Time

Later, I was thinking about that line a little bit more. “I’ve waited my whole life to feel miserable.” It got me thinking about conversations I’ve had with a lot of high school seniors over the last month. A LOT. Some of these conversations were in person on campus or in high schools. Others were over the phone or email. A few were kids from my neighborhood and surrounding community who I know personally, while others were in states around the country, and several occurred abroad (it’s been a busy April!).

DecisionsBottom line—these students had precious little in common except they were all in their final months of high school and on the precipice of making a final college decision.  When it came to making a decision, the most common words they used to describe how they were feeling were uncertain, stressed, and confused. It was almost like they’d “waited their whole life (or at least the last year or so) to feel this miserable.”

If you are still weighing your college options, I hope I can alleviate some of your uncertainty, stress, and confusion with these quick thoughts.

You Get To Choose!

Options and choices can feel overwhelming, but don’t forget that THIS WAS THE GOAL! This decision is not a burden—it is a privilege. It is a blessing. THIS is why you visited schools, researched colleges, and applied to more than just one place. THIS is why you took tough classes, studied, worked hard, and sat through multi-hour standardized tests—to have choices, to have options. You are EXACTLY where you wanted to be! You did this to yourself—and that is a great thing!

If you are still weighing your options this week, you don’t have to decide—you get to decide! You get to think about the place you will thrive and create a lifelong network. You get to talk through your options with your family who loves you, are proud of you, and are excited about this next chapter of your life. You get to do this while finishing high school alongside peers who want to excel and teachers who have always wanted you to learn, grow, and succeed. Don’t be uncertain—you get to do this!

Trust Your Gut

Adam Grant (organizational psychologist/ great follow on Twitter/ Ted Talker/ brilliant dude) said recently, “When people come to you for advice on a decision, resist the urge to give them an answer. People rarely need to hear your conclusion. They benefit from hearing your thought process and your perspective on the relevant criteria for making the choice.” Well, I’ve given you mine over the last few years (see basically all blog entries, specifically Ask GOOD Questions and Ask the Same Questions, Again and Again).

Here is the simultaneously beautiful and disconcerting reality (life in a nutshell) – in the end, only you can make this decision. This is a big deal, for sure. But it is not life or death. This is not about being right or wrong. At the risk of sounding trite: you know you.

As life goes on, you will continue to find closing other doors is never easy. If no one has told you before, I consider it a privilege to be the one to tell you this is the first of many times you will experience these types of choices: relationships, jobs, graduate school, or moving to a new city,  state, or country. Sometimes the hardest part about being talented and wanted, and the most difficult part about having options, is there is not a definitively right answer.

Perhaps Steve Jobs said it best in his 2005 Stanford Commencement address, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Your goal is to be confident in and excited about your college decision.

Ultimately, the best advice is to trust your gut. That is not a cop out—it’s the truth. You can do this; you need to do this. YOU got this!

Burn the ships!

In 1519, Hernán Cortés sailed to Veracruz, Mexico upon the direction of the King and Queen of Spain, in order to find gold, silver, and a new place to settle. When they arrived, his crew talked incessantly about returning home. They were thinking about home, family, their known life, other places, and an easier path. As they came ashore, Cortes ordered them to “Burn the ships!” Why? So they could not look back, and instead would be fully committed to the expedition.

Once you put down your deposit, that is your job as well. Be all in—buy the t-shirt, put the window decal on the car, start following student groups on social media, donate or trade the shirts you have from other school (don’t go all Cortes here and burn them), close/cancel your applications from other colleges, and start planning on  orientation in the summer.

Don’t look back. You made the right choice. Embrace it. Enjoy the end of your senior year and a well-earned summer. Too many students second guess themselves and spend their summer in angst. Burn. The. Ships!

Final Note: You may find you need to go for a walk, a drive, a run, a treadmill (bear with me), or just sit in the dark as you come to your final choice. To assist our staff put together a “Decision Time” playlist. This is unedited and unfiltered, so enjoy. Good luck! We are excited for you!

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