Category: Time Management

Don’t Cheat Yourself

Happy New Year! I hope you had a great break and are ready for school to kick back off. Okay, well, one out of two ain’t bad.

Today’s Disclaimers:

  • Today’s post is for high school seniors.
  • If you are not a senior, you are still welcome to read it.
  • This post acknowledges the presence of both drugs and alcohol in the world.
  • An acknowledgement, unlike a Grammy speech or a film credit listing “Grip #2,” is not an endorsement.
  • Eight years ago none of these notes would have been necessary.

Let’s Get Started

Two mornings a week I go to an interval fitness class at 5:30 a.m.  It’s not easy. You gotta really push, commit, and keep working. And that’s just the getting-up-and-driving-there part. Oh, and the workout is tough too. What I love about it (after my eyes are fully open and I remember how to breathe again) is the accountability. I like being around others who work hard and expect me to do the same. The 5:30 a.m. crew is tight. Let’s be honest, anyone working out at that time of day is a little off their rocker—and we celebrate this in one another.Own Your Workout

I also like being coached. David, the owner and trainer, is a rock. With both a competitive sports and military background, he does not mess around. Sometimes I go to the class to hear one of his quips or signature phrases. One of my favorites typically comes about halfway through a round when he sees people struggling. He’ll yell “Don’t cheat yourself,” and we are supposed to respond, “Treat yourself!”  Sounds cheesy but if you knew him, you either A: wouldn’t think so, or B: wouldn’t say anything. Don’t let the glasses, big smile, and four kids fool you—he’s a bad man. Apparently, our early morning class does not muster as much gusto as the classes later in the day when we reply. While I attribute this to time of day, David does not cut us any slack. “I said, ‘Don’t cheat yourself!’” “Treat yourself!” we yell in unison.

So seniors, since I don’t expect you to show up at the 5:30 a.m. class (although if you do, tell him I sent you because I think I get a $50 discount) here are a couple of classic David lines to help you make the most of your final semester.

“Don’t quit on you!”

I love this one because it’s so convicting. When you’re on your fourth circuit and have the choice of weights, it’s pretty tempting to go lighter. When you’re given a range of 20-25 crunches and you’re exhausted, 20 sounds pretty darn good. But you got up for a reason, right?!

Don't QuitAcademically, this spring, you could likely let up a little bit and still pull off decent grades. Unless you suddenly drop the weights on your foot, colleges are not going to bat an eye when they receive your final transcripts in June. So this is not a threat—it’s an encouragement. If you are reading this, you care. If you are reading this, you’ve likely already been admitted to at least one college (and I’d not doubt you have scholarship offers as well). As you start your final semester, I challenge you to keep working.  Don’t stop strengthening and stretching your muscles. As a senior in the spring, it’s not about getting in anymore, even if you are still waiting on some decisions to come out. Forget us. You owe it to yourself, your teachers, and your classmates to complete your set. This is about finishing strong and being as prepared as possible when you head off to college this summer or fall. And trust me, people are watching. Classmates, siblings, kids two classes below you who idolize you. Don’t quit on you… or them!

“Own Your Workout!”

 This phrase is actually a sign on the wall at the gym. Own.YOUR.Workout! Sure, David’s going to challenge you. Sure, there is the accountability of the rest of the class. But ultimately, it’s all on you. When you work out or study or practice anything, it’s not only about today, but what it sets you up for in the future– positive or negative.

Socially, this spring, have fun. Senior spring should be filled with lots of great moments and “lasts.” Last games and seasons, theatrical productions, musical performances, trips, prom, spring break, graduation. All good stuff. Enjoy your time with friends, classmates, teammates, co-workers. Don’t wish it away or try to rush through it. Be present, be involved, and also be smart. Again, this is not a threat. I’m not telling you to not drink at prom because it will result in you being suspended. I’m not telling you not to spray paint the school or put a goat on the roof because you might get expelled.  I’m not telling you not to get high at the beach this spring break because you could get arrested. And I’m not telling you don’t put lewd or bigoted pictures or content online because your admission offers could be revoked. I am telling you this because I’ve seen all these things happen within the last three years. I am telling you this because I won’t be there, your parents won’t be there, your coaches and teachers won’t be there. When you walk into any of those situations, it’s your choice, your decision, your reputation, your future. We can’t pick up the weight or put in the work, and we won’t finish the drill for you.

Ultimately, all we can do is stand at a distance and lovingly implore you not to quit on you, and to own your workout!

I said, “Treat Yourself!”

(Yes, yes. I can hear you. Well done.)

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Don’t Procrastinate… Get Started!

“Man. It really smells like pee in here!” I said scrunching my nose, cocking my head downward and to the left, and painfully closing my eyes. My son, who at the time was five, looked up from playing with his Transformers with a look of absolute bemusement.

“AJ, any idea why?” He shrugged his shoulders and quickly went back to insuring that Megatron (not Calvin Johnson… he loves him!) and his cronies were defeated by the Autobots. I proceeded to look through every sheet, drawer, and cubby in his room. Nothing. No soiled item or area. No article of clothing stuffed into a pillow case or sheet crammed in a corner. So I did the only logical thing… I opened a window, hastily sprayed Febreze and left shaking my head.

Image result for TRANSFORMERS AND TOYS AND OPTIMUS PRIME

Three days later, while I was out of town, my wife had a similar experience. This time our son watched with the rapt interest one has while viewing an African watering hole at midnight. “Who else is coming? What might happen next?” After rifling thoroughly through his room and strewn belongings, she asked him lovingly but repeatedly why it smelled distinctly of urine.

After the third time, it apparently dawned on him. “Hmmm…wait. I know why, mommy. I think it’s because I have been peeing in my floor vent.” Silence. Stunned silence.

And then, and only because of her incredible patience and God-given restraint, she laughed and asked calmly, “You what?!”

Yep. Come to find out that for an unknown (but likely multi-week/month) period of time, my man had been using the floor vent as a urinal. I actually Googled it. It’s more common than you’d think.

Why? You might ask– and with good reason. Quite simply, “You know how when you’re playing, and you don’t want to stop, and the bathroom seems so far away…that’s when.”

Several hundred dollars and a new duct system later. Let’s put it this way– it’s a good thing she discovered it and I was out of town or we might also have had a broken window or door to put back on its hinges.

Get Started!

Why do I share this with you?  Well, if the increasing temperatures, slower schedule, and nightly baseball games were not a hint, it’s summer! A few weeks ago, we posted another blog on this: “Make it a Summer!”

In that blog, we talked about using your time to write college essays, visit schools, talk to graduated seniors or friends returning home from their first year of college, etc. But we looked at the analytics on that blog and realized that perhaps the clicks on the piece on writing  was not as high as we’d hoped.  And so I wanted to come singularly back to that part.

If you are a rising senior, I’m imploring you to use July to write your college essays and supplemental questions. You have an entire month.

Here’s how you can get started:

Week One (July 1-8): Read the prompts from Common Application and Coalition Application. Consider what you might write about. Think about them when you’re at the pool or the gym or driving (but mainly think about driving). Jot down some ideas. Who knows, you may be inspired by fireworks on July 4, so consider voice recording on your phone. That is how I start my drafts and get ideas out and recorded. Whatever works for you.

It does not have to be formal or sequential. During this week also write one supplemental essay for a school you know you are going to apply to. Georgia Tech’s are here.  Generally speaking these are shorter and most schools only require 1-3 additional short answer/supplemental writing samples. And many schools simply ask you to submit something you have already written, so consider your options if you find that to be the case for a school you’re interested in.

Week Two (July 9-16): Get your first draft done. Chip away. One paragraph at a time. One page at a time. A little bit of time each day. If you know you are applying to a school that does not accept the Common Application or Coalition Application, then you may need to write two essays this week. Not a problem. Allocate an hour a day for that entire week. You got this! Use this week to write another supplemental essay for the same college or a different one this week.

Week Three (July 17-23): Get this to an editor (not a co-author). Hint: You should ask them if they’re up for it during week two and tell them they’ll have it on July 16. Check in with them on July 20. “How’s it going?” Have you taken a look yet? Can I clear anything up for you?” Plan to meet with them or Skype/FaceTime with them by July 23. Write another supplemental essay this week.

Week Four (July 23-30): Second draft. Take the edits and make your improvements and enhancements. Consider how you can add description or make your essay more unique, personalized, authentic. Write your fourth supplemental essay this week.

July 31. Treat yourself. Ice cream, a new shirt, a movie or show. You do you, because at this point you have a long essay and four supplemental essays done. Your editor should be up for reading a few supplemental essays this week, especially if you brought them along for the double scoop or enticed them with an Amazon card.

Now use the same method in August for any additional supplementals or long essays. This way as your fall ramps up with sports, school activities, and normal homework and other papers, tests, etc., you’ll be good to go for making October or November EA/ED deadlines.

Why Do I Care?  

Last year, of our 31,500 applications, 1/3 were submitted on a deadline day or the two days prior. Now, I’m guessing that when these applications open on August 1, you are not stumped by some of the initial questions, ie. Name, Date of Birth, Address. (If you are, please call me, and we’ll discuss if college is right for you.)

So what takes so long to submit? Why is meeting an October 15 or November 1 deadline tough when you have 10-12 weeks post August 1? I’ll tell you why… “You know how when you’re playing, and you don’t want to stop, and the deadlines seem so far away…”

Trust me. Get started! You don’t want admission readers looking for Febreze after reading your essays.

We moved last year. I really like our new house. One of the features the real estate agent did not point out but I most appreciate is that the vents are in the ceiling.

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Navigating College Admissions: An UN-romantic Solution

I distinctly remember growing up and watching my parents have “Sunday night meetings.” They would bring their calendars (yep, hard copy with pencils) to the kitchen after we’d cleared the table to discuss the week ahead. When we were little, my sister and I really didn’t understand what they were doing. We were just glad they were occupied so we could pick whatever TV show we wanted to watch. In high school, I distinctly recall coming into the kitchen for a snack during study break, witnessing these logistical negotiations, and thinking, “If this is marriage, count me out.”

twain-quoteNow, however, I’m willing to concede the beauty and brilliance of the “Sunday night meeting,” because allocating that time allowed freedom. See, once they’d nailed down their own work schedules for the week and decided who was going to drive me and my sister to the games or performances or events, they didn’t have to talk about the details again. Listen, it still doesn’t sound romantic, but it gave them the rest of their week to talk about other things (presumably some of that was romantic, but these are my parents, and this is a family blog).

Application (no pun intended) to the Admission Process

As I watch more of my neighbors and friends with kids in high school (particularly during junior and senior year), it is clear that dispersed conversations and questions about scholarships, deadlines, essays, or plans to visit colleges often become a swirling, all-consuming mess. More importantly, they create unnecessary tension and division. Students feel like every time they come downstairs for a meal the “college talk” begins. Parents feel like their intelligent offspring has somehow lost the ability to string consecutive words together or convey ideas in multi-syllabic words.

Quick Quiz

Parents: Are you bringing up college options, deadlines, or test dates at a variety of unchecked times and days throughout the week?

Students: Test yourself: Do you frequently answer your parents’ sequential questions about college with: “Good,” “Okay,” “No,” “Huh?” Do you pretend like your phone is ringing and head for the car when mom asks, “Have you asked Mrs. Johnson for that rec yet?”

If the answer to any of these questions is “Yes,” I want to strongly encourage the implementation of the “Sunday Night Meeting.” Not necessarily on Sunday, but one consolidated time each week when college is on the proverbial– and perhaps literal– table.

 ground-rulesParents: You GET TO BRING brochures you’ve noticed in the mail. This is YOUR TIME to say, “Hey, look honey, the leaves are turning in South Bend. Isn’t it pretty?” You GET TO ASK, “Have you written your supplemental essays for SMU?” Or “Do you still want to take that trip to Maine to look at schools in November?” THIS IS YOUR TIME FOR: “Did you get your ACT results back?” Or “Is the University of Wisconsin psychology program highly ranked?” It’s all free game.

Students: You DON’T GET TO BRING your cell phone or really crunchy snacks. You DON’T GET to look at your shoes more than three times or for beyond six seconds. You have to FULLY ENGAGE in this conversation. I’m not going to be super obnoxious and give you a link to the definition of conversation or discussion in the dictionary, because you know what that looks like. ONE time a week… for only two hours (1/12 of that day!). You got this!

Outside of the “Sunday night meeting,” however, college talk is banned. Mom, dad: You drive past a car with a Princeton or Michigan State sticker. Not a peep. Sean next door gets accepted to Auburn or Colorado College, send a text in congratulations or post something online. Mute button is on at home.

Now, I get that it’s college football season. I have no problem with passionate support of your alma mater or understandable vitriol for your opponent. But that can’t transition to, “You’re not really going to apply there are you?” Or “Look at their fans. They just don’t look smart…”

Two Important Truths

  1. The reason your parents are bringing up college, asking you questions, and expressing their opinions is partly because they’re not convinced you are on it. If you answer their questions, show you have a plan, and demonstrate that you are making progress on applications and working towards deadlines, you’ll dramatically diminish the seemingly incessant nagging.
    truth
  2. It’s not nagging! It’s love. “Sunday night meetings” are not romantic. They weren’t then, and still aren’t now. But they are rooted in love. The time your parents take, the questions they ask, their desire to see things taken care of  is absolutely grounded in deep affection. They know you’re going to head off to college in the next year or two. There is some fear in that, and a lot of excitement. Every now and then they can’t believe you’re taking AP Biology or standing at over 6 feet tall. Somehow carpool lines and tricycles don’t seem like that long ago. Give ’em a break. Fear, excitement, love– these all warrant you being fully engaged. Two hours a week (1.1% of your week!): Answer the questions; look them in the eye; put down your phone—and every now and then, how about a hug?

Long live the #SNM!

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The Definitive College Admission Field Guide

Last week my kids had Fall Break. I’m not going to lie…. I went into it feeling pretty cynical. A: it’s not fall, and B: they really don’t need a break. Six weeks and then a week off. Come on, man. Soft.

But my wife wanted to be sure “we did something fun ‘FOR THEM.'” (She’s crafty like that.) So while I worked at the beginning of the week, I took the latter part off and headed to the lake to meet up with them and some friends. I drove alone late one night and got there in the pitch black dark. The whole way I was thinking about all the things I could be getting done at home. But when I woke up the next morning to the sun shining off the water, a good cup of coffee in my hand, and some built in entertainment for our kids, the switch flipped immediately. Just the latest in a long line of “You were right” moments in my life and marriage.

“You’re hungry? Grab some pretzels. I know it’s 9 a.m. Don’t care. I’m on vacation.” We took the boat out. The boys wake boarded and knee boarded and jumped between dueling tubes. Me? Snacked. Put my hat over my eyes and lounged. Finally, I got on the mega inflatable couch with the two 5-year old girls and then basked in the sun as they sang and danced to “Shut up and Dance with Me!” Didn’t question the lyrics or think about this same pair 10 years from now in bathing suits with boys next to them. Nope. I leaned back… and breathed.

Take a Breath

We all need that, right? Just a good, long, selfish breath. We get into patterns that are necessary but also tiresome: Wake up, head to school, go to practice, study. Rinse and repeat.

And in the admission process you need that breath, too. Same brochures coming each day with taglines only varying by verb tense, school colors, and font. Campus tours like death marches with polo clad, flip flop wearing guides citing the number of volumes in a library or the myriad flavors of ice cream available in the dining hall. College reps at fairs and at your school touting that they’re #23 for number benches on campus. And the beat drones on…

We feel your pain. And in a “lake moment” we decided to create the definitive “Admission Field Guide.” I hope you will find it different. And refreshing.

It’s created to help you navigate this year smoothly: to give you helpful tips for your application, essays, and interactions in the college admission process; to remind you to laugh and breath along the way; and ultimately to enable you to find the college that will help you thrive and achieve your goals.

Even if you don’t click on these links or watch the videos, I earnestly encourage you take breaks this year. Go to the lake (even if it’s figuratively). Dance and sing. Surround yourself with the people who know how to help YOU take care of YOU. At the end of the day I’ll be singing this: “Shut up and breathe with me!”

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The Welcome Manual, Step 2: Don’t Sit!

The Welcome Manual, Step 2

At Georgia Tech we’ve made a real effort to clarify holistic review , de-stress the admission process, and use a variety of mediums to try to help you do a great job on your application.

Still, when I ask current freshmen to reflect on their admission process, I’m surprised by their misconceptions of the basic elements. Either these were not well communicated, not really heard (despite a lot of nodding heads when I look out into audiences), or perhaps not believed. I’m still working on my “trust me” hand sign, but I have to admit: it’s frustrating to know there is still so much misinformation and misunderstanding. And to be honest, often these conversations are with kids whose parents attended college, and who have access to college counselors in their high schools. That being said, it worries me to think about students who are in schools with student:counselor ratios of nearly 500:1 (the– disturbing– national average).

In Part 1 of The Welcome Manual, we talked about separating yourself in your writing– being you, conveying your passions, and looking at your essays and supplements like an interview. Today we are going to hit on another “lesson learned” or “wish I’d known” from college freshmen who have just gone through the admission process.

Since The Common Application opens August 1, let’s walk through this together (cue the dream sequence).Step2_Banner

The Schedule

August 1-3: You create a username and login. You quickly knock out your name, address, date of birth, and overall biographical information. Maybe you get slightly delayed for an evening or two while finding out mom or dad’s work address or details on length of citizenship in your state– but this section is pretty straightforward (note: if you find questions such as address or middle name difficult, please see your school counselor immediately).

August 8 (being generous): You come to the extra- curricular portion. Let’s allow some time to consider and deliberate over the order to list these activities. “Will they think it’s more impressive that I played cul-de-sac whiffleball or was awarded ‘Bee of the Month’ for April as Applebee’s hostess?” Again, however, that section is pretty straight forward. Couple nights and DONE– because effectively it is what it is.

August 12: Understandably, when you get to the essays and supplements, you are going to need some time (although, many college freshmen say they actually wrote those over the summer, which we advise.) You write, revise, edit, solicit an editor or two, remind the editor to do their job, consider those edits, revise. This process should take a month, max.

Mid- September: Students I talked to said they hit some delays in making a few college visits or determining exactly which schools to apply to. Or, they had a big test or project that kept them from immediately submitting, so we will account for that.

Oct 1: Submit. Done.

Sit-Less-Walk-with-Attitude-BlogThe Reality

Does reality follow the schedule above? Nope. Students said they just just sat on their applications… and admitted they sat on them way too long. They sat and sat. They ate and slept and went on an occasional date, and then they sat some more. If the application were an egg, it would have long since hatched and then been crushed by mama for not moving.

My question: “WHY?” Most said they were nervous– anxious about being judged. I also heard, “I thought I might realize something was missing” or “that I might want to add something to improve it.”

My Advice

ME: “Ok. So did you?”

They said: “No.” And similarly they unanimously said how relieved they were once they finished and could move on with their senior year. Now they had time to focus more on their senior grades, or on Homecoming, or simply on not sitting.

I’m just reporting what I’ve heard (and adding a few occasionally cheesy parentheticals). But here’s the bottom line: Knock it out and send it in! And tell your friends. “See Sitting, Say Something.” #ssss — it’s a thing.

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