They’re off to great places!

This week Senior Associate Director of Admission, Mary Tipton Woolley, joins us on the blog. Welcome, Mary Tipton!

My daughter started kindergarten this week, and it seems like only yesterday she was born. Such a cliche, but oh so true! In preparing for the start of school, I decided to write her a letter. When I finished, I realized the feelings of a parent sending their child to kindergarten are likely similar to those felt by parents sending their child to college. Sure, she’s still sleeping across the hall, but I suspect those other feelings are not so different.

But I worry that in the midst of applying to college, and the focus on getting in, getting out, success, and achievement, overshadow the natural feelings of a family getting ready for a big transition and the opportunities that come with it. If your house was like mine this summer, there were some extra tears and arguments – no doubt a sign of underlying nervousness on all our parts of what is to come (or maybe it’s life between a mother and daughter!). It’s yet another reminder that as parents we learn and grow right along with our kids!

You’re off to great places! You’re off and away!

Here are some of the thoughts I shared with her in my letter….

Monday you start Kindergarten, and I am so excited for you! The hair is cut, the first day dress chosen (thanks, Lulu), lunches planned and backpack broken in. Over the next several years, you will learn and grow in many ways, and I look forward to sharing the experience with you. To paraphrase Dr. Seuss, “[Monday] is your day! You’re off to great places! You’re off and away!”

I hope you will arrive at school every day with your ears and eyes open for learning. Your teacher will put her energy into helping you learn and grow, but it’s your responsibility to take advantage of all that she is offering you. You’ll also have to practice what you learn – after all, none of us learned to read or spell or excel at anything without practice! I hope you will continue to respect your teachers, and not be afraid to ask questions about matters that are confusing or contrast with what you think/believe. It’s okay to do that, so long as your mind and heart are open to understanding perspectives that might challenge your own.

Your friends will also push you to grow and learn. You’ll keep some of your old friends and make new ones. Frankly, you’ll probably learn more from them than in your classes (but don’t tell your teachers I said that!). They will make you happy and sad, excited and frustrated! That’s okay too…you’ll do the same to them. Remember there’s a heart inside everyone you meet that deserves to be respected, no matter how much they make you mad or how much you disagree with them. Sometimes your friends will be better at things than you are. Cheer them on and celebrate their successes with them, because at some point the tables will turn and you’ll be better at things than they are. Then you’ll have them to celebrate with you too!

Some other thoughts on my mind:

  • Don’t stop asking questions. Your dad and I will continue to be open and honest with you, even when we know you may not like the answer we’re giving you or it makes all of us uncomfortable!
  • Don’t be afraid to fail! We’ll be there to cheer you on when you succeed and when you fail – there’s as much to be learned from failure as being successful!
  • Don’t let fear stand in your way of trying something new. You’ll miss out on some amazing lessons in life if you do.

I’m proud of the person you are – the value you place on love and friendships and your fearlessness in expressing it. I’m proud of the excitement you show for things both small and large. I’m proud of the confidence you have to be your own person. Keep this up and you will succeed, “98 and ¾ percent guaranteed!”

Trust the Transition

Now that our family is a few days in to this new season of life, I have a few other thoughts on this transition:

Trust – We are trusting a school community with our children. That takes a lot of trust – even more so when you’re sending your child to college! It’s a great reminder of the responsibility we have as educators to embrace those in our charge and work to help them have a smooth transition. The communication from her teachers and school has helped me gain trust in them. Parents, take advantage of all the ways a college wants to communicate with you – parent newsletters, parent program offerings, and family weekend are just a couple of examples. I searched several university and military academy websites, and all have parent programs featured prominently in search results. Go find yours!

Logistics – I’m thinking about what my daughter is doing throughout the day. Did she find her way to her classroom? Could she open her lunch thermos? Was the spaghetti still hot? Did she make it to her after school bus? I’m sure these feelings are amplified when you don’t see your child every day. Before you drop off your child at college, set some parameters surrounding your expectations for communication. My parents suffered through a child who would go a week without checking in (sorry, mom… I get it now!). The only way to ensure all parties are satisfied, and not stifled, by communication is to keep talking about it.

Tears (or no tears!) – I had none, nor did my daughter. I’m excited for this next step for her and know we’ve done all we can to prepare her for it. Parents, you have too, so celebrate with your child! Because they’re “off to great places! [They’re] off and away!”

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Waiting Well

Q: “Mommy, what eats a hyena?”

Me: “I don’t know, maybe a lion…?”

Q: “Well, let’s get your phone and I’ll look it up.”

As the mom of small children, I find myself constantly asking my girls one thing: wait. And please, be patient.

Turns out young kids have a hard time with waiting. And who can blame them? Our world is driven by “right now.” If my 6-year old has a question and I don’t know the answer, she simply picks up my phone and Googles it (see conversation above). No waiting, no looking it up in a book. If she wants to watch a TV show she has Netflix (and the Disney Jr. app)… when i was a kid you had one shot at watching cartoons: Saturday morning. If you missed your favorite show, too bad—you had to wait a week to see it.

The art of waiting (or lack thereof) even filters down to the books I read to my 1-year old. Each night we read Llama Llama Red Pajama–a story about a young llama whose mom tucks him into bed then goes downstairs. He then calls for her and, in the midst of waiting, spends the next few minutes growing increasingly worried (and ultimately panicked) wondering what’s taking her so long. Of course in the end she comes in and offers some good ol’ mom wisdom: “llama llama what a tizzy… sometimes mama’s very busy. Please stop all this llama drama, and be patient for your mama!” (And yes, this slight reprimand is followed with a hug, kiss, and reassurance that everything is okay.)

Still waiting (for the point….)

All of us, as young as 1, and as old as, well, 30-something, could do a bit better with waiting. There will always be something to wait for in life. When you’re in preschool, you wait for kindergarten. When you’re in middle school, you wait for high school. When you’re in high school, you wait for college. When you’re in college, you wait to graduate and get a job. When you get a job, you wait to find the right person to marry… house to purchase… you see where I’m going here. The list goes on and on. Regardless of what stage of life you find yourself in, you will always be waiting for… something.

If you’re a rising senior, you’re likely waiting for August 1 when many applications (including the Common App and Coalition App) open up. Once that happens, you’ll find yourself in motion as you work on your application and line up all of the documents you need and so on. Hopefully you’ll find yourself all done with your application long before the actual application deadline (hint, hint). At that point all you have to do is wait… and the question becomes: how do you wait? And moreover—how do you wait well?

Make a list, check it twice 

Once you hit that magical submit button, there’s still tasks to be completed. Your list of action items will likely vary from college to college. Follow up with your school counselor to be sure he or she knows what you need from them (transcripts to be sent, recommendation letters uploaded, etc.). Your job is to follow up and provide what is asked of you (so keep an eye on that applicant portal/checklist where you can monitor your status!). But here’s the key: don’t follow up every. Single. Day. Don’t camp out outside anyone’s office, don’t make phone calls every day, and don’t send emails multiple times a day pushing for a response. Make the request, give it a couple of weeks, and…. wait. If you’re getting close to a deadline and still haven’t gotten a response, of course be sure to check back in. If you’ve done your part and asked for the info, and the other person assures you they’re doing their part and working on it, then the next thing to do is…. Wait.

Stay in motion

This one may seem contradictory after what I just said. But just because you’ve submitted your application and requested all of your additional information doesn’t mean you get to just sit around. While you wait be sure to stay in motion. Sitting around and worrying isn’t going to benefit anyone, especially you! If your recommendation letters are finished, write a thank you note to each person. Lead a project at school, help out a friend, spend time with your family, and of course keep studying and working hard in class. Be active, and grow where you’re planted. Right now, in this moment, actually BE where you are instead of worrying about where you will be. Easier said than done, but trust me, practicing that now will help keep your blood pressure down in the future.

Find Reassurance

In the end, it’s okay to be a little bit like Little Llama. Sometimes it all becomes too much, and the only option left is to jump, pout, and shout. When that time comes, find your safe place and let it all out. That place could be with a parent, a friend, a teacher, or a coach. It may not be a person, but an activity that is your safe place (music, sports, horseback riding, hiking, etc.). Find a way to get all of the angst, anxiety, and worry out of your system, without judgement. Take a deep breath—actually, take a lot of them. It helps more than you might think. Remember that if you’ve followed the two steps above, then you’ve done all you can do. It’s out of your hands now… and that’s okay.

If you’re like most students, you’ve done your share of waiting this summer. As you head into your senior year you’ll move from waiting-mode into action-mode. But after all the hustle, and the busyness, of a new school year passes, you’ll find yourself back in waiting mode. And I encourage you: find your way to wait well.

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But… what do colleges prefer?

This week we welcome our Regional Director of Admission for the West Coast, Ashley Brookshire, to the blog. Welcome, Ashley!

It’s a question I hear often – mostly from families at college fairs who are frantically trying to absorb every available nugget of information available to them in the tight time frame of the event: “But… what do colleges prefer?”

“My daughter has the opportunity to take classes at our local community college this summer or do an internship – which one do colleges prefer?”

“My son is thinking about going on a mission trip or finding a job for the summer – which one is better?”

“I can either stay with band or debate for my senior year, but not both. What should I do?”

Students, and parents, are hoping for a concrete answer – a guaranteed road map to get in to the college of their choice. If an admission counselor says it, then it must be truth, and should be followed to a “t” (trust me, we wish we had that kind of all-knowing power!). But if you’re reading this in hopes of gaining a paint-by-numbers insight into the college admission process, I’m afraid you’re going to be terribly disappointed.

The better question to ask is “why do we ask students to supply an activity record with their application?” Is it to count the number of hours you spent volunteering at a local hospital? Do we tally the number of times you were elected into an officer position for a club at school? No, on both counts. We are looking at three things: your experiences, the talents you possess, and the skill sets that you’ve developed throughout your high school career. These three items help us gauge your fit and potential impact on our campus.

Experiences

Your experiences inform your beliefs, passions, and ambitions, and ultimately, this is what we want you to bring to our community. What types of opportunities did you opt into (or in some cases, stumble into by chance) and how did they differ from your initial expectations? Have you stepped into a club, trip, or commitment that was outside of your comfort zone?

The beauty of a college campus is its ability to offer a more robust list of experiences than most high schools can provide. What experiences are you bringing to the table? I’m not just talking about the stamps in your passport. When we look at your application, we want to see the behaviors that make you open to experience life with new people, places, and activities.

Talents

A talent is an innate ability to do something, whereas a skill set is learned and developed. Many of the families I speak with seem to focus on talents, but in the admission process, skills sets are equally as insightful (more on that in a moment).

I haven’t been a powerful force in a music classroom since learning to play the recorder in 5th grade. I can appreciate that some people have inherent abilities that I do not. If you have talent in art, music, dance, athletics, or public speaking, then you’re likely drawn to these types of activities.

What students usually overlook is that you determine how your talents are utilized and ultimately captured on your application. Are you part of a club, company, or team that allows you to hone your craft? Have you created opportunities for others to engage in this activity? From an admission perspective, we’re not looking to fill a class of individuals who were born with special talents. We are looking for students who are motivated to share their unique talents in impactful ways.

Skill Sets

Skills, on the other hand, are developed. They are practiced, trained, and learned. These can be hard skills (programming, marketing, or painting) or soft skills (networking, time management, perseverance). Sometimes students apply so much effort to developing a skill set that it appears as a natural talent to others, leaving them unaware of the work going on behind the scenes.

The skills you’ve cultivated by balancing your time outside of the classroom and working with others will make you a powerful member during the many group projects you’ll work on in college. Enrolling in a summer academic program or college course will sharpen your academic prowess and allow you to accelerate your coursework in college. The leadership skills you’ve gained as a club officer at your high school will embolden you to step into pivotal roles in one of the hundreds of organizations that contribute to our campus culture. As a volunteer, you’ve stayed mindful of those around you and connected more personally to your community.

All of these experiences, talents, and skills bring positive value to a college campus, yet all cannot be pursued at the same time. Even in the summer, there are a limited number of hours in the day.

The Answer

So, back to the original question: “which (insert activity here) do colleges prefer?” We prefer that you use your time intentionally in whichever way you feel best engages your interests, utilizes your talents, and allows you to grow as an individual. These are the types of students who will join a college community and thrive both inside and outside the classroom.

At the end of the day, we want to enroll a well-rounded freshman class. This is quite different than every student in our class being well-rounded. It means that, as a whole, our class is filled with philanthropists and athletes, musicians and researchers, leaders and employees, and their collective experiences, talents, and skills create dynamic, thought-provoking interactions on our campus.

But before you schedule every free moment of your summer, remember: summer should bring reprieve with it. Enjoy the additional time in your day – days are longer and summer doesn’t normally hold the same time commitments as the school year. Take a deep breath, celebrate your achievements over the course of the last year, and catch up on that book or tv series that you set aside during the school year. After all, senior year and college application season is just around the corner.

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Transitioning to the Tandem Bike

As we approach the May 1 National Deposit Deadline, seniors aren’t the only ones preparing for a big life transition. Parents, we know you have a big transition ahead of you too. This week we asked the Director of Georgia Tech’s Parent & Family Programs, Laci Weeden, to share her tips for parents on how to navigate the days ahead. Welcome, Laci!

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The transition from high school to college can be both exciting and scary at the same time.  As parents and family members, you have helped your student get to where they are today, and you will continue to have have an important role in their higher education journey.  But how will your role change from what it is now, to what it will be, when your student is in college?

I like to think of the transition from high school to college like a tandem bicycle. When your child was younger, and their feet didn’t even reach the peddles, so you steered, peddled, and determined the path and the destination of the bike.

As your child grew older, you began to feel them peddle and you listened as they shared their thoughts on the journey. Now that they are ready to head off to college, it’s time to switch seats and let your student take the lead.

Now that your student is now on the front of the bike and  ready to take the lead, your roles will switch. Your student will be steering their own course, finding their own path in life, and pedaling hard to be successful. But don’t forget, you are right there on the bike, too – peddling, supporting, and cheering them on along the way!

Here are a few tips to help your student and your family with the transition.

  • Establish a regular time to catch up and check in with your student.
  • Send care packages and cards from home.
  • Listen to what they have to say.
  • Encourage them to work on time management and create good study habits.
  • If they struggle, remind them that they have your support, but encourage them to find solutions on their own when possible.
  • Remind them to utilize all the resources around them. As a parent, you can feel free to reach out to campus resources yourself as a family member if you need support..
  • Encourage them to take advantage of campus and local opportunities.
  • Encourage your student to get exercise, eat healthy, and sleep, as balance and wellness are important.
  • Remind your student that you are proud of them, you trust them, and you love them.
  • Try not to worry too much. You did a great job getting them off to college!

For more information and questions about being a college parent or family member at Georgia Tech, visit parents.gatech.edu.

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The Waitlist… well….

Freshman admission decisions are out at Tech, and will soon be out at many other schools across the nation (if not already). As we mentioned in last week’s blog, emotions run high during this time of year, and it can be a stressful time for students, families, counselors, and admission staff.

When it comes to dealing with a decision of “waitlist,” there’s only so much to say… and last year Rick covered most of it in our 3-part series, “The Waitlist Sucks.” We hope you’ll check it out and learn more about the waitlist from the college perspective, the student perspective, and tips on what to do next.

The Waitlist Sucks

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