Archives for August 2017

They’re off to great places!

This week Senior Associate Director of Admission, Mary Tipton Woolley, joins us on the blog. Welcome, Mary Tipton!

My daughter started kindergarten this week, and it seems like only yesterday she was born. Such a cliche, but oh so true! In preparing for the start of school, I decided to write her a letter. When I finished, I realized the feelings of a parent sending their child to kindergarten are likely similar to those felt by parents sending their child to college. Sure, she’s still sleeping across the hall, but I suspect those other feelings are not so different.

But I worry that in the midst of applying to college, and the focus on getting in, getting out, success, and achievement, overshadow the natural feelings of a family getting ready for a big transition and the opportunities that come with it. If your house was like mine this summer, there were some extra tears and arguments – no doubt a sign of underlying nervousness on all our parts of what is to come (or maybe it’s life between a mother and daughter!). It’s yet another reminder that as parents we learn and grow right along with our kids!

You’re off to great places! You’re off and away!

Here are some of the thoughts I shared with her in my letter….

Monday you start Kindergarten, and I am so excited for you! The hair is cut, the first day dress chosen (thanks, Lulu), lunches planned and backpack broken in. Over the next several years, you will learn and grow in many ways, and I look forward to sharing the experience with you. To paraphrase Dr. Seuss, “[Monday] is your day! You’re off to great places! You’re off and away!”

I hope you will arrive at school every day with your ears and eyes open for learning. Your teacher will put her energy into helping you learn and grow, but it’s your responsibility to take advantage of all that she is offering you. You’ll also have to practice what you learn – after all, none of us learned to read or spell or excel at anything without practice! I hope you will continue to respect your teachers, and not be afraid to ask questions about matters that are confusing or contrast with what you think/believe. It’s okay to do that, so long as your mind and heart are open to understanding perspectives that might challenge your own.

Your friends will also push you to grow and learn. You’ll keep some of your old friends and make new ones. Frankly, you’ll probably learn more from them than in your classes (but don’t tell your teachers I said that!). They will make you happy and sad, excited and frustrated! That’s okay too…you’ll do the same to them. Remember there’s a heart inside everyone you meet that deserves to be respected, no matter how much they make you mad or how much you disagree with them. Sometimes your friends will be better at things than you are. Cheer them on and celebrate their successes with them, because at some point the tables will turn and you’ll be better at things than they are. Then you’ll have them to celebrate with you too!

Some other thoughts on my mind:

  • Don’t stop asking questions. Your dad and I will continue to be open and honest with you, even when we know you may not like the answer we’re giving you or it makes all of us uncomfortable!
  • Don’t be afraid to fail! We’ll be there to cheer you on when you succeed and when you fail – there’s as much to be learned from failure as being successful!
  • Don’t let fear stand in your way of trying something new. You’ll miss out on some amazing lessons in life if you do.

I’m proud of the person you are – the value you place on love and friendships and your fearlessness in expressing it. I’m proud of the excitement you show for things both small and large. I’m proud of the confidence you have to be your own person. Keep this up and you will succeed, “98 and ¾ percent guaranteed!”

Trust the Transition

Now that our family is a few days in to this new season of life, I have a few other thoughts on this transition:

Trust – We are trusting a school community with our children. That takes a lot of trust – even more so when you’re sending your child to college! It’s a great reminder of the responsibility we have as educators to embrace those in our charge and work to help them have a smooth transition. The communication from her teachers and school has helped me gain trust in them. Parents, take advantage of all the ways a college wants to communicate with you – parent newsletters, parent program offerings, and family weekend are just a couple of examples. I searched several university and military academy websites, and all have parent programs featured prominently in search results. Go find yours!

Logistics – I’m thinking about what my daughter is doing throughout the day. Did she find her way to her classroom? Could she open her lunch thermos? Was the spaghetti still hot? Did she make it to her after school bus? I’m sure these feelings are amplified when you don’t see your child every day. Before you drop off your child at college, set some parameters surrounding your expectations for communication. My parents suffered through a child who would go a week without checking in (sorry, mom… I get it now!). The only way to ensure all parties are satisfied, and not stifled, by communication is to keep talking about it.

Tears (or no tears!) – I had none, nor did my daughter. I’m excited for this next step for her and know we’ve done all we can to prepare her for it. Parents, you have too, so celebrate with your child! Because they’re “off to great places! [They’re] off and away!”

If you would like to subscribe to receive blog entries when they post, please click the “Subscribe” button in the header at the top of this page or enter your email address. We also welcome comments or feedback @gtadmission on Twitter.

College Admission: Think Helicopters, not Airplanes

At a conference in Newport, RI in July, I entered my name in a raffle to take a helicopter tour. On the day of the drawing, the organizer announced her 2-year old son selected three lucky winners. I almost stood up because I instantly knew I had one of the spots locked down. Can’t say what it is exactly, but me and 2-year olds… we get each other. And sure enough, my name was the first one called.

The ride was incredible. Partly because Newport is a truly beautiful area by land, sea, and from the air. Hundreds of sailboats, famous mansions along the cliffs, and great views of farms and wineries. But I think one of the coolest and most amazing parts of the ride was simply taking off.  I know it sounds obvious, but you rise up straight off the ground. There is no taxiing, accelerating, or partially up before all wheels are up. Just whoop– up! No effort. No build up. Blades spinning, seat belts buckled, doors closed, headphones on. You’re airborne.

With the Common Application, Coalition Application, and most institutional applications now open, I encourage you to view your senior year, and the admission process, as a helicopter tour rather than a plane ride.

Plane Rides vs. Helicopter Tours

When you board a plane, you are always focused on where you are going. Destination is king. I’ve been on some pretty important plane rides in my life — headed to weddings; attending funerals; going to graduations; traveling to make speeches and presentations. When you board a plane, you have a precise endpoint in mind. Delays are annoying… lack of coffee when they forget to refill the water prior to departure is irritating (thanks, Flight 2225)… turbulence is scary. What you remember if the flight is smooth is… well, nothing. What you remember if it’s not, is the inconvenience.

In contrast, a helicopter tour is going to end up at the exact spot you started. The person who dropped us off just sat in the lobby and waited while we flew around Newport. She knew we were coming right back. The point of the ride was not to get somewhere. The point of the ride was to see, learn, explore, appreciate, and gain perspective. I would assert the same is true of the college admission process and your senior year in general. The admission process is not about the destination. It’s not about one school or one city or one campus. If that’s your perspective, or if it starts to creep into your mind this year, I am earnestly imploring you to consider why you’re cheating yourself of growth.

If you see this experience as a helicopter ride, then it becomes about what you learn about yourself along the way. It’s about understanding when the brochures arrive in the mail (or when you visit a campus, or when an alum or neighbor tries to convince you to apply or choose a certain college) why a school is, or is not, a good fit for you.

How Did You Grow?

Let’s say you apply to Stanford (the country’s most selective institution) and you get in. If it’s a plane ride, all you did was get on board, buckle your seat belt, and arrive in Palo Alto. Congrats, it’s sunny. But how did you grow? What lessons have you actually learned over the last year to help you thrive and navigate in your new community? I’d say few. I’d also say you wasted your senior year. Sure, you made a few fives on some AP exams. You went to prom. Maybe you even won some games, garnered some awards, or made some money. But do you know yourself more deeply after the experience? Do you know why you are there, and not somewhere else? Did you truly choose this college over all others? Or did you simply arrive? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying  you shouldn’t have a solid list of schools, or even one as your first choice. But if “college” is all wrapped up in one place; if success is wrapped up in one place; I’d urge you to think about helicopters, not airplanes.

If this is a helicopter tour, you will see a ton in the year ahead. You will ask probing, personal questions into those headphones at 200 feet–your questions, not questions someone told you to ask. You will look down over the landscape, your choices, from a different perspective. I would assert if your senior year is a helicopter tour, nothing can teach you more about yourself than the college admission process.

Touring Through College Admission

Helicopter tours are meant to be enjoyed and appreciated. “Touring” through college admission, rather than “flying” through it, will teach you more valuable lessons than you’ll ever learn in an AP class or get from an online lecture. If it’s not about the destination, then getting deferred or waitlisted are not reasons to question your intelligence or potential. If it’s not about the destination, you won’t be as frustrated or bitter to see someone else land where you wanted to be, while you get diverted to another airport. Instead, the turbulence, the delays, the re-routes, are simply part of the ride. They don’t shake your confidence. Your blades are still spinning. Your headphones are still operational.

Helicopter tours may land in the same spot, but the passengers get off with an entirely new perspective. If you’re reading this and you’re starting your applications now, I have no doubt in a year from now you’ll be packing your bags for college. The question is your ride between now and then. So fly well.

If you would like to subscribe to receive blog entries when they post, please click the “Subscribe” button in the header at the top of this page or enter your email address. We also welcome comments or feedback @gtadmission on Twitter.